my brother’s keeper

Evangelium Vitae (The Gospel of Life)Brother kills brother. Like the first fratricide, every murder is a violation of the “spiritual” kinship uniting mankind in one great family, in which all share the same fundamental good: equal personal dignity. Not infrequently the kinship “of flesh and blood” is also violated; for example when threats to life arise within the relationship between parents and children, such as happens in abortion or when, in the wider context of family or kinship, euthanasia is encouraged or practised.

At the root of every act of violence against one’s neighbour there is a concession to the “thinking” of the evil one, the one who “was a murderer from the beginning” (Jn 8:44). As the Apostle John reminds us: “For this is the message which you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another, and not be like Cain who was of the evil one and murdered his brother” (1 Jn 3:11-12). Cain’s killing of his brother at the very dawn of history is thus a sad witness of how evil spreads with amazing speed: man’s revolt against God in the earthly paradise is followed by the deadly combat of man against man.

After the crime, God intervenes to avenge the one killed. Before God, who asks him about the fate of Abel, Cain, instead of showing remorse and apologizing, arrogantly eludes the question: “I do not know; am I my brother’s keeper?” (Gen 4:9). “I do not know”: Cain tries to cover up his crime with a lie. This was and still is the case, when all kinds of ideologies try to justify and disguise the most atrocious crimes against human beings. “Am I my brother’s keeper?”: Cain does not wish to think about his brother and refuses to accept the responsibility which every person has towards others. We cannot but think of today’s tendency for people to refuse to accept responsibility for their brothers and sisters. Symptoms of this trend include the lack of solidarity towards society’s weakest members – such as the elderly, the infirm, immigrants, children – and the indifference frequently found in relations between the world’s peoples even when basic values such as survival, freedom and peace are involved.

Pope Saint John Paul II, Evangelium Vitae (The Gospel of Life), paragraph 8

 

family-based faith formation

Holy Family iconOn this Feast of the Holy Family, I thought I’d publish something I wrote years ago about family-based faith formation.

***

Final Project:
Family-Based Faith Formation

Clayton Emmer
Pastoral Ministry in American Culture
PT 509 01
Sr. Katarina Schuth, O.S.F.
Tuesday, May 16, 1995

Outline

I. Introduction

II. Family-Based Faith Formation

III. Current State of Family-Based Formation

IV. Local Family-Based Formation Programs

A. Obstacles

  1. Lack of vision
  2. Lack of trained professional leadership
  3. Lack of ownership by parents
  4. Diversity of families

B. Responses to concerns

  1. Vision
  2. Parent involvement
  3. Diversity

V. Moving Forward with Family-Based Formation

  1. Communicating the vision
  2. Establishing a Catechetical Director
  3. Offering alternatives and support

VI. Conclusion

 

INTRODUCTION

The inspiration for this project on family-based faith formation began with a personal experience of volunteering as a teacher of eighth-grade religious education a year ago. The class, which met for an hour and a half each Wednesday evening of the school year, was to be taught using a textbook that will remain unnamed. The text on morality — in both its learner and teacher editions — employed a condescendingly “cool” approach that mistook a patronizing attitude for relevance. On the first night of class, I discovered how difficult it was to convey the material in a way that seemed appropriate to my audience of twenty-one eighth graders. By observing the acerbic reactions of students to the jargon and the illustrations in the text, I was reminded of my own experience of religious education, an experience that planted in my mind the notion that religion was a trivial subject hopelessly unrelated to my life. I remembered the torturous Wednesday night sessions in which, after I was asked to describe my feelings to a small group of individuals I hardly knew, the class would conclude with some sort of truism about the fact that God is love.

I wanted more for my students, so in subsequent class periods I moved away from the text, tried to develop a good relationship with the students, and planned out some sessions that were more engaging, more interactive and more substantive. I hoped that this would help them make a connection between catechesis and daily life.

Although I felt that I achieved some degree of success, I was frustrated by four further obstacles: a lack of student understanding of the most basic content of Christian faith; a lack of student concern about assimilating the material (unless, of course, they were being graded); a lack of student discipline; and the absence of support from parents. At this point, I began to think that the religious education program was in need of serious rethinking. In my estimation, the program in which I was participating had an impoverished vision of faith formation.

Then I happened to pick up a copy of Pope John Paul II’s recent Letter to Families. In the document, I was introduced to the notion that parents are the primary educators of their children: “Parents are the first and most important educators of their own children, and they also possess a fundamental competence in this area: they are educators because they are parents.”1 Moreover, I learned that the Pope specifically addressed the relation of the family to religious education:

One area in which the family has an irreplaceable role is that of religious education, which enables the family to grow as a “domestic church.” Religious education and the catechesis of children make the family a true subject of evangelization and the apostolate within the Church…. Families, and more specifically parents, are free to choose for their children a particular kind of religious and moral education consonant with their own convictions. Even when they entrust these responsibilities to ecclesiastical institutions or to schools administered by religious personnel, their educational presence ought to continue to be constant and active.2

I was fascinated by the discovery of this rich understanding of the family’s role in the faith development of children. Certainly my own experience as a home-schooled student resonated with the Pope’s words: Most of my formative experiences in faith had taken place in the context of family prayer, discussion and daily interaction. I concluded that a vision of religious education with more family involvement would make the faith formation process more organic, integral and effective.

FAMILY-BASED FAITH FORMATION

What, then, is family-based faith formation? In the absence of any formal definition, family-based formation may generally be described as one mode of catechesis that recognizes the primacy of the family unit as a subject and vehicle for the inter-generational transmission of faith.3 This sort of formation presupposes the concept of catechesis which was present in the early Church — that is, catechesis understood as “the totality of the Church’s efforts to make disciples, to help men believe that Jesus is the Son of God so that believing they might have life in his name, and to educate and instruct them in this life, thus building up the body of Christ.”4 Family-based formation, as one means of catechesis, is based on three principles: first, the idea that parents are the primary educators of children;5 second, the understanding that development in faith is a process of mutual inter-generational growth and learning;6 and, third, the awareness that families and parishes are collaborators in the transmission of faith.7

A more particular definition of family-based formation might exclude many developing and existing models, thus failing to be a comprehensive definition. The family-based programs already in place are rather diverse in terms of structure. A brief examination of a particular local family­ based program may help establish some sense of how a family-based model might operate. In Eagan, Minnesota, the parish of Saint Thomas Becket provides a family formation program which includes: family retreat experiences; bi-annual peer-based and inter-generational formation sessions with catechists; and weekly in-home activities for the entire family. In this lectionary-based model, which utilizes Brown Roa’s Seasons of Faith curriculum, the weekly scripture readings and home activities correspond to the three-year cycle of readings for Sunday Mass. According to the publisher of the curriculum, the teachings in the text are correlated with the lectionary readings in such a way that during each three-year cycle of readings, all of the essentials of Catholic doctrine are covered.8 The curriculum is age-appropriate and includes adult workbooks to provide background material on the lectionary readings. The parish offers sacramental preparation courses that operate in cooperation with — but independently from — the Seasons of Faith program. This is simply one model, mentioned here for the sake of illustrating an incarnation of the family­ based formation model.9

The vision for family-based faith formation, which is rooted in contemporary Church documents, derives primarily from the Second Vatican Council’s discussion of the family as “domestic church.”10 A brief examination of these documents and, in particular, the Church’s teaching on marriage, illuminate the essential role which the family has in the transmission of faith. John Paul II has addressed the topic in several documents. In addition to his Letter to Families, which was an adaptation of Familiaris Consortio, he has written an encyclical on catechesis which stresses the important catechetical role of the family: “Family catechesis… precedes, accompanies and enriches all other forms of catechesis.”11 He describes an organic vision of family catechesis that recognizes the importance not only of a methodical catechesis, but of a sort of “inculturation” of catechesis in family life.12 Similarly, the Catechism of the Catholic Church describes parents as the “first heralds” of the gospel for their children.13

The sacrament of marriage is the source of the catechetical role of parents. As Pius XI wrote in his encyclical Casti Connubi, the sacrament of marriage, by virtue of its indissoluble bond, provides in the best way possible for the education of children because “the care and mutual help of each [parent] are always at hand.”14 According to Church teaching, the education of children is inseparably tied to the procreative activity of marriage.15 In other words, the educational role of parents is an extension of the generativity that results from the communion of persons.

Sacred Scripture also suggests the importance of family in faith formation. For example, the Holy Family provides a model of parental initiative in the religious upbringing of the young. In the gospel of Luke, Mary and Joseph take the initiative to present Jesus in the temple in Jerusalem.16 In this passage, the Holy Family is, in a very concrete way, collaborating with the wider community in serving the spiritual welfare of the child Jesus. As another example, one may recognize in the parable of the Prodigal Son a story about the family as a privileged place for learning about God’s love through the witness of parental love.17

CURRENT STATE OF FAMILY-BASED FORMATION

An interest in family-based faith formation has been expressed recently by the Church on international, national and diocesan levels. Internationally, one can turn to the writings of John Paul II. The Pope has noted that family catechesis, an essential part of all catechesis, has a special role in places where religious faith is undermined by unfavorable cultural climates: “In places where anti-religious legislation endeavors even to prevent education in the faith, and in places where widespread unbelief or invasive secularism makes real religious growth practically impossible, ‘the church of the home’ remains the one place where children and young people can receive an authentic catechesis.”18 The Pope seems to be suggesting that family-based formation has a special significance in the contemporary cultural context.

On the national level, the National Conference of Catholic Bishops has pledged to be an advocate for resources that will help parents in the moral and religious formation of their children.19 Moreover, the bishops encourage many activities that the family-based model uses as tools for faith formation, including family meals, rituals, education programs, and communal worship in the home.20 As far as the implementation of family-based models is concerned, however, there is relatively little being done at the national level. At a recent national conference on catechesis, only about ten percent of the participants were working on a family-based approach to faith formation.21 Particularly noteworthy is a 1992 study of Catholic religious education carried out by the Educational Testing Service in cooperation with the United States Catholic Conference Department of Education. An article by Catholic News Services billed the study as an indicator of the success of existing religious education programs,yet quoted a USCC representative who said that many of the 450,000 volunteers involved in these programs experienced a lack of adequate resources and institutional support. While Catholic schools and parishes were cited as partners in religious education, no mention was made of the role of the family in religious education.22

Within the Archdiocese, the interest in family faith development has been expressed primarily through the establishment of a number of “family-centered” programs. Although a list of “family-centered” programs has been compiled, the exact number and nature of these programs in the Archdiocese is unknown at present. However, a survey is currently being conducted by the Office of Catechesis to determine exactly what sort of family-based programs are being offered.23

LOCAL FAMILY-BASED FORMATION PROGRAMS

In order to get a sense of the state of family-based faith formation in the Archdiocese, I interviewed five parishes with family-based models, as well as Sister Josetta Marie Spencer, coordinator of catechesis, resources and services for the Archdiocesan Office of Catechesis.24  My examination of the Archdiocese revealed three challenges in regard to existing family-based programs — namely, the need to articulate the vision of family-based formation, the need to create a sense of parental ownership of the faith formation process, and the need to respond to diverse family situations.

OBSTACLES

Lack of Vision

One major obstacle to family-based programs is a lack of comprehensive vision of faith formation as a holistic, inter-generational, all-encompassing process of faith development. A narrow and uniform model of faith formation — that is, a model which is based almost entirely on an academic approach to faith development — still prevails in many places. This model is seen as tried and true, which makes people hesitant to look at alternatives. The standard model of religious education (i.e. the “CCD” model) is perceived by some to be adequate and universally applicable.25 This leads to a sort of inertia that disinclines people to look seriously at family-based models.

Lack of Trained Professional Leadership

In local parishes that do incorporate a family perspective on faith formation, a lack of catechetical leadership often prevents the parish from implementing the vision in a coherent, integral way. In all of the parishes interviewed for this project, the head of the family-based program is either a volunteer or an individual responsible for a number of different areas of parish life. Professional, paid catechetical leaders are often viewed as non-essential members of parish staffs when a family-based program is established; Directors of Religious Education are sometimes laid off in such situations.26 This is a serious problem, for although volunteers often give generously of their time and skills, they seldom can provide the time, effort and qualifications needed to establish a comprehensive vision for faith formation and to offer adequate catechetical training to catechists and parents. The Church on the local level seems unaware of the important role of professional catechists in the parish, a role which is explicit in the Guide for Catechists which was released by the Vatican in 1994.27

Lack of Ownership by Parents

Another obstacle to family-based programs is a lack of a sense of ownership on the part of parents. Some parents are reluctant to devote the time and energy needed to a family-based program, in part because they may not see the benefits of the family-based model. Moreover, trying a new model of religious education involves the risks of change — risks that many may not be willing to take. The classroom model is more familiar and feels “safer” to parents. Many want to stay with the type of education that is based primarily on an academic curriculum.28

Oftentimes, parents are hesitant to embrace the family-based model because they  are concerned that the quality of the religious education will suffer in this model. In my interviews, those promoting family-based faith formation consistently observed that parents worry about their own competence as educators and fear that an inter-generational, holistic approach will not provide a comprehensive presentation of foundational Catholic doctrines and beliefs. Parents often feel that they do not have enough knowledge or skills to pass on the faith to their children.29 Perhaps in these situations the parish has not sufficiently communicated and demonstrated that it truly collaborates with the parents in the formation of children; without this understanding, the task of family-based formation can become very intimidating for parents, especially for those who do not have the training to carry out effective catechesis on their own. Without the support of the parish, parents can end up feeling just as isolated as the volunteers mentioned in the article about the 1992 study on Catholic religious education (see above). The tension that exists between highlighting parents as primary educators of the young and maintaining a vital parish role in catechesis30 deserves some attention within the diocese.

Diversity of Families

One additional obstacle to the implementation of the family-based model is the reality of a wide diversity of family situations within the Archdiocese. One cannot assume that every household will fit into a traditional mold: There are blended families with stepchildren; single­ parent families; interfaith marriages; dysfunctional families; and families in which one or more parent does not participate in parish life. No one model of faith formation will address all of the needs of this diverse population.31 When a parish offers only a single family-based model of religious education, problems may arise. In households which experience the trauma of domestic violence, the home may not be a feasible place for faith formation. Single parents may not have the adult support they need in the home. Differences in religious belief may create tension within an interfaith household trying to adopt the family-based model of formation. Parents who are not churchgoing may not take the initiative needed for the family-based model to work; moreover, when no connection exists with the larger community of faith, the collaboration between family and parish, which the Church holds up as an ideal,32 does not take place.

RESPONSES TO CONCERNS

Vision

In ordered to foster the development of family-based programs, the Archdiocesan Office of Catechesis is providing resources and information about the theology of “domestic church,” the importance of parent involvement in religious education, and the need for catechetical leadership in the parish. On the local level, some parishes are providing orientation sessions to introduce interested parents to the family-based approach to faith formation. The Church of Saint Paul requires new members of the parish to attend two informational sessions about life in the parish as part of the registration process; at that time, they are introduced to the family-based formation program.33 At Saint Thomas Becket, orientation sessions are held on a regular basis during the year for interested parents.

Parent Involvement

In order to get parents involved in a family-based style of formation, some parishes organize parish-based family events as a springboard for family activity. At Risen Savior and Thomas Becket, special parish-wide programs take place during Lent and Advent in which the whole family participates. During these events, a mixture of peer-based and inter-generational activities take place. At Our Lady of Guadalupe, these programs happen on a monthly basis. At the Church of Saint Paul and at Our Lady of Guadalupe, the formation program involves one session a month at the parish to supplement the three sessions in the home. Similarly, at the Church of Saint Paul, monthly parish-based sessions involve both parents and children. Moreover, catechesis for parents is offered at the parish regularly in order to give parents the tools and encouragement they need to teach their children.34 These are a few examples of parishes that, through collaboration with the family, support the parents in their role as primary educators.

Diversity

Offering options in faith formation is essential;35 not only does this help to give parents a sense of ownership in the faith formation process, but it also respects the diverse needs of families. Guardian Angels in Lake Elmo offers three different programs: a home-based program; a program that involves neighborhood peer groups meeting in homes with parents as facilitators; and a program that involves two parish and two home sessions each month.36 This variety of offerings helps the parish to cater to a wide variety of family schedules and needs. Diverse family structures have unique formational needs; the parish of Saint Thomas Becket has recognized this and thus facilitates the development of “clusters.” Small clusters of parents who want to be involved in the faith formation of their children but who, for whatever reason, do not have the resources or support needed to carry on the formation in their homes, gather together with their children to take part in the family-based program.37 As an example, a particular “cluster” might consist of single parents and their children. The programs mentioned above are helping a wide variety of individuals to engage in the family-based approach to faith formation in ways that respect their diverse situations and needs.

MOVING FORWARD WITH FAMILY-BASED FORMATION

The following initiatives may be helpful in developing constructive family-based faith formation programs in a particular parish: first, communicating the vision of family-based catechesis; second, hiring a catechetical director to analyze the parish and develop appropriate programs; third, offering alternatives and support.

COMMUNICATING THE VISION

The first stage in developing family-based formation is to share the rich vision of the family as a privileged place for faith formation. This could be done by bringing in speakers from parishes that already offer a family-based program. In particular, parents who have been engaged in the family-based model should be invited to speak at the parish about their experiences with the family­ centered approach. The parents I listened to in preparing this project were very enthusiastic about taking an integral role in the faith formation of their children; they appreciate the opportunity to spend time with their children, to pray and learn about the faith alongside their children, to make connections between the faith of the Church and personal experience, to grow closer together as families, and to experience in a richer way the life and worship of the parish community. Letting parents share their enthusiasm about family-based formation is perhaps the best way to generate interest in the family-centered approach.

The witness of those already engaged in family-based formation should be coupled with a lecture or presentation on the “domestic church” vision as articulated in the writings of the Second Vatican Council and in a variety of subsequent Church documents. This theoretical groundwork will help parents realize that the family-based approach is not just a nice new idea, but actually is rooted in the Christian tradition and represents an important source and means of evangelization.

In addition, the pastor should capitalize on opportunities to share the “domestic church” vision with parents who come to the parish to prepare for the sacraments of baptism and marriage. At these key moments in the life of a family, the obligations of parents to children in terms of faith formation should be highlighted as an integral part of the commitment made in these sacraments. When preparing to have their child baptized, parents should be informed that they are committing themselves to raising their children in the practice of the faith; when a couple comes for marriage preparation, they should be catechized about the commitment they are making of openness to the gift of new life and the consequent responsibilities of the procreative good — responsibilities that include the education of children.

ESTABLISHING A CATECHETICAL DIRECTOR

After articulating the family-centered vision, the parish should establish the position of a professional catechetical director to develop a consistent catechetical thrust in all of the parish programs and to start to train parishioners who wish to help in developing family-based activities. If the parish already has a director of religious education, perhaps the job description could be modified as necessary in order to reflect the new holistic approach to parish catechesis.

The financial resources for establishing this paid position would hopefully be developed by parishioners who have been inspired by the family-based vision communicated by the leadership of the parish; ideally, the family-based vision would help create resources and, in turn, the resources would fortify the vision.

The first task of the catechetical director should be to analyze the parish structures, the demographics of the parish, and the needs of parishioners. After completing this analysis, the director would then articulate a way of inculturating the family-based vision in a way appropriate to the parish. As the family-based approach is fostered, the catechetical director should begin to find ways to improve the family dimension of existing programs instead of eliminating programs altogether; the main objective of the director should not be to develop new programs, but to highlight and foster the family perspective within the parish community as it exists.38 Plans and proposals for changes would need to be communicated clearly and publicly in order to generate a genuine partnership between the leadership and the parish as a whole.

OFFERING ALTERNATIVES AND SUPPORT

The final phase of the development of family-based formation in the parish would involve sustaining the vision. This should be done in two ways. First, the leadership of the parish should make sure that alternative means of religious education remain available so that parents are free to choose the form of faith formation they consider most appropriate for their families.  A failure to offer alternatives would be a violation of the family-centered vision, for the vision is not encompassed by any one program, but instead is characterized by a respect for the choices parents make in regard to the religious and moral education of their children. Second, parents who want to choose the family-based model should be encouraged and supported in their choice through the establishment of a “mentor” system. Basically, the “mentor” system would connect parents already involved in the family-based model with parents who are just becoming involved in this method of faith formation. A mentor family would pay attention to resources the new family might need in order to carry out its role as a “domestic church” and would then communicate the needed resources to the parish leadership. This partnership between families would help facilitate “like-to-like ministry” within the Church and would be an ideal way of supporting the diverse needs of the families within the community.

CONCLUSION

The family-based model of faith formation is one approach to catechesis that seems well-suited to the parish of today; the model helps establish a continuity between catechesis and daily life, as well as between parish and family. Moreover, the model holds up the dignity of the family as an irreplaceable source and means of evangelization. This relatively new approach to faith formation deserves serious consideration in the years ahead. Along with other models of catechesis, family-based faith formation will most likely play an important role in the spiritual development of individuals, families and parish communities in the years to come.

End Notes

1 Pope John Paul II, Letter to Families, (Boston: Saint Paul Books and Media: 1994), 16.

2 Pope John Paul II, Letter to Families, par. 16.

3 Pope John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio: The Role of the Christian Family in the Modem World, (Boston: Saint Paul Books and Media: 1981), par. 16.

4 Catechism of the Catholic Church, U.S. Catholic Conference, tr. (St Paul: Wanderer Press, 1994) par. 4.

5 Pope John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio, par. 16; Catechesi Tradendae, par. 68; Catechism, par. 2225.

6 Pope John Paul II, Catechesi Tradendae, pars. 45, 68; Familiaris Consortio, par. 52; National Conference of Catholic Bishops, Follow the Way of Love: A Pastoral Message of the U.S. Catholic Bishops to Families, (Washington, DC: United States Catholic Conference, 1993) 9.

7 Pope John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio, par. 53; Catechism, par. 2226.

8 Eleanor Suther and Jeanita F. Strathman Lapa, eds., Seasons of Faith: Home Resource Book (Dubuque, IA: Brown Roa Publishing Media, 1991) 2.

9 Orientation session at Saint Thomas Becket with Judith Batten, Pastoral Associate, March 23, 1995.

10 Austin Flannery, ed., “Lumen Gentium: Dogmatic Constitution on the Church,” Vatican Council II: The Conciliar and Post-Conciliar Documents (Northport, NY: Costello Publishing Company. 1992) par. 11.

11 Pope John Paul II, Catechesi Tradendae, par. 68.

12 Pope John Paul II, Catechesi Tradendae, par. 68.

13 Catechism, par. 2225.

14 Pope Pius XI, Casti Connubi: On Christian Marriage, (New York: Barry Vail Corporation, 1931) 9.

15 Austin Flannery, ed., “Gaudium et Spes: Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modem World,” Vatican Council II: The Conciliar and Post-Conciliar Documents (Northport, NY: Costello Publishing Company, 1992) par. 48; Catechism, par. 2205.

16 Luke 2:22-24

17 Luke 15:11-32

18 Pope John Paul II, Catechesi Tradendae, par. 68.

19 National Conference of Catholic Bishops, Follow the Way, 25.

20 National Conference of Catholic Bishops, Follow the Way, 22.

21 Interview with Sister Josetta Marie Spencer, Coordinator of Catechesis, Resources and Services for the Archdiocesan Office of Catechesis, April 28, 1995.

22 Catholic News Services, “Test Results Say Religious Education is Doing the Job,” Catholic Bulletin, July 28, 1994, 1-2.

23 Sister Josetta Marie Spencer, April 28, 1995.

24 The five parishes were: Church of Saint Paul, Ham Lake; Risen Savior, Burnsville; Guardian Angels, Lake Elmo; Saint Thomas Becket, Eagan; and Our Lady of Guadalupe, Saint Paul.

25 Catholic News Services, “Test Results,” 1-2.

26 Sister Josetta Marie Spencer, April 28, 1995.

27 Congregation for the Evangelization of Peoples, Guide for Catechists (Washington, DC: United States Catholic Conference, 1993) par. 14.

28 Phone interview with Paul Deziel, Youth Minister, Our Lady of Guadalupe, April, 1995.

29 Phone interview with Gordon Dozier, Director of Youth Ministry, Church of Saint Paul, Ham Lake, April 23, 1995.

30 Pope John Paul II, Catechesis Tradendae, par. 67.

31 Sister Josetta Marie Spencer, April 28, 1995.

32 Pope John Paul II, Catechesis Tradendae, 67.

33 Phone conversation with Judy Busch, Church of Saint Paul, Ham Lake, May 11, 1995.

34 Gordon Dozier, April 23, 1995.

35 Sister Josetta Marie Spencer, April 28, 1995.

36 Phone interview with Katie Smith-Myott, Guardian Angels, Lake Elmo, April 20, 1995.

37 Judith Batten, March 23, 1995.

38 Sister Josetta Marie Spencer, April 28, 1995.

 

Bibliography

Batten, Judith, Pastoral Associate, Saint Thomas Becket; Peggie Schummer (parent); Mary Vatterott (parent).  Orientation session.  March 23, 1995.

Busch, Judy , Church of Saint Paul, Ham Lake. Phone conversation. May 11, 1995.

Catechism of the Catholic Church. U.S. Catholic Conference, tr. St. Paul: Wanderer Press, 1994.

Catholic News Services. “Test Results Say Religious Education is Doing the Job.” Catholic Bulletin. July 28, 1994.

Congregation for the Evangelization of Peoples. Guide for Catechists. Washington, DC: United States Catholic Conference, 1993.

Coriden, James A, ed., et al. The Code of Canon Law: A Text and Commentary. New York: Paulist Press, 1985.

Deziel, Paul, Youth Minister, Our Lady of Guadalupe. Phone interview. April, 1995.

Dozier, Gordon, Director of Youth Ministry, Church of Saint Paul, Ham Lake. Phone interview. April 23, 1995.

Flannery, Austin, ed. Vatican Council II: The Conciliar and Post-Conciliar Documents. Northport, NY: Costello Publishing Company, 1992.

Humphrey, Robert L. “Parish Catechesis: An Expanding Vision.” Momentum. February/March 1993. 31-35.

John Paul II, Pope. Catechesi Tradendae: Catechesis in Our Time. Boston: Saint Paul Books and Media, 1979.

John Paul II, Pope. Familiaris Consortio: The Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World. Boston: Saint Paul Books and Media: 1981.

John Paul II, Pope. Letter to Families. Boston: Saint Paul Books and Media: 1994.

Markey, Barbara, Director of Family Life, Archdiocese of Omaha. Class presentation. April 3, 1995.

National Conference of Catholic Bishops. Families at the Center: A Handbook for Parish Ministry with a Family Perspective. Washington, DC: United States Catholic Conference, 1990.

National Conference of Catholic Bishops. Follow the Way of Love: A Pastoral Message of the U.S. Catholic Bishops to Families. Washington, DC: United States Catholic Conference, 1993.

Pius XI, Pope. Casti Connubi: On Christian Marriage. New York: Barry Vail Corporation, 1931.

Skierecki, Barbara, Coordinator for Preschool through Eighth Grade and Family Program, Risen Savior, Burnsville. Phone interview. April 18, 1995.

Smith-Myott, Katie, Guardian Angels, Lake Elmo. Phone interview. April 20, 1995.

Spencer, Sister Josetta Marie, Coordinator of Catechesis, Resources and Services for the Archdiocesan Office of Catechesis. Interview. April 28, 1995.

Strathman Lapa, Jeanita F., and Eleanor Suther, eds. Seasons of Faith: Home Resource Book. Dubuque, IA: Brown Roa Publishing Media, 1991.

Swanson, Trudy, Coordinator for Family Formation Program, Church of Saint Paul, Ham Lake. Interview. April 23, 1995.

fifteen years

wake in other waters

9/23/04
3:40 am
Hope, Idaho

Dad made his passage to the next life at 1:18 am this morning, with Mom, Katy & Jeff & I present. It was a peaceful, awe-inspiring time. His breaths became shorter and less pronounced, in the way that the lapping waves on the shore — after the wake of a passing ship — become less pronounced and then fade entirely. His ship is now creating a wake in other waters.

Related posts:
learning to fear the right things
remembering Pops
on the passage through life
in gratitude for my Dad
the upset of Easter, and the last things

a groovy day in my spiritual life

On July 26, 1970, at the church of Saint John the Baptist in Excelsior, Minnesota, the Rev. Vincent O’Connor poured water over my forehead and baptized me in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

I’ve decided to make a point of celebrating the anniversary of my baptism. I guess Pope John Paul II thought this sort of thing was a good idea, as did a fourth-century saint:

We should celebrate the day of our baptism as we do our birthday! All Christians should reflect on the meaning and importance of their own baptism. – John Paul II, 1/12/1997

The first Christians had great spiritual celebrations on the anniversary of their baptism, which was the day of their dedication, the day on which they were consecrated to God. They took no notice of their birthday, for at birth we are not children of God, but rather children of Adam. So they celebrated the day on which they were made children of God, the day of their baptism. – Saint Caesarius of Arles (470-543 AD)

My mom is amazing. I’m the youngest of ten kids, and somehow she saved a box of various items from my baptism! I was digging through my books the other day and stumbled across all of this memorabilia… baptismal cards printed for the occasion; cards from godparents, family and friends; a telegram from my uncle; a burlap banner, complete with bright orange and green felt letters proclaiming a groovy Gospel message; a family Christmas card that was created after the event… My parents had the event filmed on Super 8 film and recorded on audio tape as well.

I have the script my parents wrote for the occasion (that’s right, they scripted the liturgy)… apparently it involved most of my nine brothers and sisters. And I have been given to understand that Fr. O’Connor played guitar during the celebration.

It was a tandem baptism, shared with good friends of our family, the Regans. Bobby Regan and I were both born around the same time, so the families decided to celebrate the baptisms together.

I was particularly moved by some of the notes I found among the archives:

from my godparents:
Dearest little Clayton,
We are so happy to be your godparents, and through you to reaffirm that we’ll go “one more round, mankind.” Your parents are beauties and you are blessed as they are blessed. Much love, Gordy & Grace

May he grow in wisdom, grace and age and be worthy of his earthly and heavenly family. Bob and Helen

from one of my aunts:
Dear Mary, Jim and children:
Thank you for a very wonderful day. It was an insight to generous, selfless, meaningful Christian lives. Gratefully, Pat and Gen

from a friend of the family:
Dear Mary and Jim,
Clayton has really come into a beautiful and loving Christian fellowship. He is a very lucky young man to have been received so well into his new community. John and I felt it an honor to be a part of your special day. Thank you for all the “giving” you have sent our way. Love in your family! Cynthia O’Halloran

and then the telegram from my uncle:

Stumbling across all of this is quite humbling. It’s hard to know how to express gratitude for such a great gift, given to me even before there was any way of responding. It reminds me of the very gratuity of God, the great economist of the heart… who doesn’t measure, or wait for any kind of response.

In his Letter to Families, John Paul II wrote profound things about the family as the lasting “horizon of one’s existence” and the relationship between human life and life in God:

It is for themselves that married couples want children; in children they see the crowning of their own love for each other. They want children for the family, as a priceless gift. This is quite understandable. Nonetheless, in conjugal love and in paternal and maternal love we should find inscribed the same truth about man which the Council expressed in a clear and concise way in its statement that God “willed man for his own sake.” It is thus necessary that the will of the parents should be in harmony with the will of God. They must want the new human creature in the same way as the Creator wants him: “for himself.” Our human will is always and inevitably subject to the law of time and change. The divine will, on the other hand, is eternal. As we read in the Book of the Prophet Jeremiah: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you” (Jer 1:5). The geneaology of the person is thus united with the eternity of God, and only then with human fatherhood and motherhood, which are realized in time. At the moment of conception itself, man is already destined to eternity in God.Letter to Families, paragraph 9

All I can say is that I am very grateful for my parents. It would have been easy for them to have seen a tenth child simply as a burden or another mouth to feed. But instead they chose to see it as an occasion of joy and hope, and left all of these reminders behind for me to discover later.

So here’s to forty-nine years of life in my earthly family, and in the family of the Trinity!

marriage and the possibilities of human love

This week, while sitting in a bakery, I picked up the June 30 edition of the Minneapolis StarTribune and read this sobering headline:

Weddings a less religious affair: Church weddings are now a minority, as Minnesota couples choose convenience over tradition

The cultural shift described by the article is very dramatic:

Religious institutions hosted only 22% of weddings in 2017, according to a survey by the Knot, a leading wedding news website. That’s a swift decline from the 41% in 2009.

Barns, ranches and banquet halls are among the top beneficiaries of the shift.

Catholic churches have been particularly hard hit. The number of weddings nationwide plunged from 326,000 in 1990 to 143,000 in 2018 — despite an increase in the Catholic population. In Minnesota, there are half as many Catholic church weddings today, with 3,100 last year, as in 1990.

In just ten years, the number of marriages performed by religious institutions has dropped by 50%.

And then this story of how it is playing out:

Even some couples whose first choice is a church ceremony often change their minds because of requirements. Raised Catholic, Emily and Joe Beckers expected to be married in a Catholic church. But the Maplewood couple was put off by the marriage preparation classes, which seemed too “faith based,” and the required weekend retreat with other couples. They also wanted a personalized wedding ceremony and worried that couldn’t happen.

There was even a bigger hurdle. Joe Beckers was divorced, and for the marriage to be recognized in the church, he would need to get an annulment of his first marriage.

The wedding plans shifted gears, and they ended up at Embassy Suites in St. Paul.

Said Emily Beckers: “We were able to tailor every detail to our relationship.”

God, the sacraments, and the church are fading in the minds of young couples. No longer are these things considered important to the success or vitality of their relationship. What matters more is the ability to make the ceremony a triumph of self-expression. Is it any wonder that marriages fail so often? They are little more than houses built on sand.

Pope Saint John Paul II was prophetic in his sense about the direction that marriage was headed with young people. He describes the dynamic delicately and profoundly in his play about the sacrament of marriage. One of the characters in the drama is an old jeweler, a man who prepares the rings for young couples. He represents the priest, the witness of the sacrament and the one who, in the person of Christ, offers the blessing on behalf of the Church.

CHRISTOPHER
When we took the rings I felt your hand trembling….
We forgot to pay attention to the face of that old man,
whom Mother told me about: his eyes are said to be very expressive.
It is not our fault that we read nothing
in his eyes; and he said little — things we knew anyway.
So do not be surprised, Mother, that his words left no trace
(things we knew anyway — we did not sense greatness),
and Monica’s trembling hands told me much more.
I was engrossed in her being moved, and in my own
experience of her being moved, which I shared fully
— and I saw us two deep down in our experience:
I think I love her very much.

MONICA
We were taken up with each other — how could we tear ourselves away…
He did nothing to fascinate us…
he simply measured, first, the circumference of our fingers, then of the rings,
as an ordinary craftsman would. There was no artistry in it even.
He did not bring us closer to anything. All the beauty remained
in our own feeling. He did not widen or narrow anything
…I was absorbed by my love — and by nothing else, it seems.

TERESA
This frightened me, however… Does the old jeweler not act anymore with the force of his eyes and his word? Or is it that those two are unable to feel that force, hidden in his look and his speech. Is it that they are different?…
What are you building, children? What cohesion
are these feelings of yours going to have beyond the old jeweler’s message
of which the vertical axis cuts across
every marriage in this world?

The Jeweler’s Shop by Karol Wojtyla

Clearly the Church has its work cut out for it if it hopes to be given the opportunity to assist young couples in preparing well for marriage in any kind of meaningful way… leading them beyond the fantasy and the sentimentality, toward the bedrock of a love that pours itself out selflessly on behalf of the beloved.

For more about the play The Jeweler’s Shop, click here.